Marks & Spencer’s – Manchester
By Rabid Dog

It’s a nice Saturday afternoon, I decide to pop into M&S and have look around, more specifically I’ve gone in to buy a hat!! Yes a fucking hat! You thick twats A black “rocky balboa” style hat to be precise, after trekking up 10,000 escalators I get to the men’s floor! Why the fuck do the men have to climb Mount Everest to get to there fucking section?? Eh!! I find that sexist, racist, rude, disgusting, saddening, shocking and down right fucking callous! Can’t think of anything else so fuck you.

Anyway, I get to the Men’s floor, can’t see no bastard hats, go up to one of women who works there (she was pretty fucking hot!, apart from her Worzel Gummage style hair) I ask very nicely “could you tell me where the hats are please?” she says sounding like an uneducated slag “Haaaats?” I say “Yes hats!”, “erm, erm, erm… I don’t think we sell hats sorry”, I say slightly enragd “YES YOU DO!, I’ve seen them on your web site”, “erm, erm, erm, I’ll go and ask someone, please wait here” the daft slut sounded like David Beckham aged 3 and seemed very nervous around me. I can’t blame her to be fair! what girl isn’t nervous around the Rabid Dog? My stunning looks have been described by many as “Brad Pitt style” Others say I’m more like a “Cess Pitt” Twats!

Moving on, some M&S bloke who I can only describe as, “from the deepest part of the jungle” appears and points out the hat section!, he points cause he only speaks “Ungo Bungo Bongo” language, he also smells like snake/baboon shit…. I say thank you, he just looks at me funny. Stupid Jungle Cunt. I find the hat, try it on, look in the mirror and decide I look a cunt. After pondering like a dithering 90 year old bastard I decide No Dice and go and buy a jumper instead…. I then go to HMV (the little one on Market St.) and fly into a rage within 3 seconds cause its about 140 degrees in there, I have a loud foul mouthed rant at anyone who cares to listen and storm out, I’m not happy at all by this point, to top it all some homeless stinking tramp then literally jumps in my face and shouts with a dog turd / piss/ garlic / bells whiskey breath “BIG ISSUE SIR” I’m not in the mood and tell him to “get out of my fucking face or your going to have a big issue with me!” he actually says sorry and then I feel bad…. for about ¼ of a second the dirty cunt.

M&S 3/10
HMV -500 / 10
Tramps upsetting me 1/10
My day so far cause of retailing giants, jungle men and tramps -1000000/10… i.e I wish I was dead and it’s only 3:30pm!

Fuck you all till next week!