Red Eye

Reviewed by Rabid Dog

Starring: Rachel McAdams; Cillian Murphy

I went to see this fucker on Saturday with a lady friend and we both had the same fucking opinion at the end of this dog of film! fucking rat shit on a pole! It was defiantly a film of 2 half's, it starts off nice enough then fucking rapes your arse with all the predictable wank!

The plot of this bastard is as follows:
Hotel manager/executive Lisa (McAdams) is catching a flight home to see her old fucked pops, some fucking psycho chap called Jackson played by Cillian Murphy is booked on the same flight as her, he wants some cunt of a politician or some shit killed, this politician happens to be staying at the rats nest of a hotel that Lisa works at, psycho man needs Lisa to change this politician to a different room in the hotel so his buddies can rocket launch his room and kill the bastard. Following so far??? I know its fucked!!!

Anyway, psycho man makes friends with Lisa at the airport (just let me add right now that Miss McAdams becomes more fuckable everytime I see her!! my jizz is hers for FREE anytime she wants a slice!), plays the nice guy, buys her a drink blah blah blah then acts surprised when there sat next to each other on the plane, when the fucker takes off he tells her that he's a psycho and he'll have her old man killed if she doesn't ring the hotel and get Mr politicians room changed. She doesn't believe him, so he gets her dads wallet out and tells her loads of shit about her family, then the slag believes him.

Moving on, Lisa (Mcadams) is made to ring the hotel and change the room, but a freakish storm cuts off the planes phones, but Lisa being a clever girl pretends to still be on the phone! but gets found out cause Mr psycho is even more clever! The next scene made me piss my pants laughing cause it was so unexpected, Mr Psycho loses his rag from nowhere and head butts Lisa knocking her clean out!!

At this point the film everything is going quiet well, everything is good. Im enjoying it!! My peanut M&M's aren't melting, the fucking popcorn even tastes sweet and fresh unlike some slags clouts who reside at the Ritz nightclub.... then bang.... the script writers must have decided to do a project where they hand the writing over to a bunch of fucking nursery children... in a word the film becomes the fucking "Pitts".

Lisa stabs physco in the throat with a "monster" pen when the plane has landed, he pulls it out nicks some old slags scarf to cover his wound and carry's on no problem even though the cunt has got a big hole in his throat!!, they both avoid ALL the airport security, even though she does the usual I'll fall over shit and he'll nearly catch me. She then robs someone's car, manages to make a phone call to save the chap in the hotel, hotel gets blown up but every fucker is ok, she gets to her dads gaff and kills the guy who was going to kill her pops and then has a showdown in the house with Mr Physco.

At this point the film is fucking laughable and believe me plenty were pissing themselves in the cinema, Mr physco speaks to her and sounds like old purple rinse bag who used shag percy in Coronation Street!. The usual happens, physco dies, police turn up an hour later.... everyones the fucking hero!! Bob Wank!!! Fucking Die Wes Craven! and yeah once again i've told you everything that happens in this sack of shit!!! this really could have been a good film.... but don't bother with it, its pure fucking sewage.

PS. Theres a ginger receptionist in the film that for some unknown reason I'd like to break in too.... with my cock!.
Sweeeeeeeeeeeeet!