The Road
By Rabid Dog

Dear God! If there is a god then he is evil! Why? because he let such a boring sack of shit film get made.... worst of all my Mrs had to spunk £6.90 up the wall for it, thank fuck one us got in free on the good old Orange Wednesday.

On to the film.... It would seem the world is fucked and pretty much everyone is dead, what can I say? fuck all really gets explained as to what has happened and why the world is fucked. They mention "a bright light" and then everything went tits up. Nuclear disaster? Fuck knows, they don't bother telling you. On to the cast... we have Viggo Mortensen who plays "the man" I call him "The Cunt", then Kodi-Smit McPhee as his young son (what a stupid fucking name!) he's more annoying than his "Pappa" in this pile of wank, the film is based around these two limp dicked twats wandering round forests looking for somewhere to sleep, both moaning that they are starving etc, trying to avoid other humans in case they kill them and eat them blah blah blah

We have Charlize Theron whatever her name is, in a series of flashbacks playing the boys mum, she just fucks off into the cold and kills herself. Great. Thats her done with. I know what your wondering.... would I fuck her? Maybe... and if I did would she thank me? You're damn fucking right she would! I'm the DOG! Anyway, the film is POINTLESS and REPETITIVE (much like my reviews), they wander from location to location bitching and fucking moaning about dying. Nothing interesting happens at all for the whole film... and the bastard weighs in at 1 hour 50 mins.

I can't be bothered now, I'm writing about this boring shit and it's boring me! I'm the cunt for typing this shit!

I'll "spoil" the film for you. "the man" dies, his son cries.... then Guy Pierce (Former Neighbours hearthrob) see's him crying and lets him join his little family... the end.

It's fucking cack!!! I've read the book and that's a pile of shit too! So I'm a grade "A" cunt for going to watch the film knowing it'll be a pile of tramps spunk. I hope I die tonight for even going to the cinema to watch this....

R.Dog

PS. I hope you all die too! Go fuck yourselves!.... and that's the bottom line!