Fucking Shit Transport in the UK
By Rabid Dog

Right you twats, I'm back and angrier than ever! This bastard rat shit country fucks us over at the best of times.... My arse gets raped by the government every month for Tax and National Insurance, my wallet gets fucked up the arse every time I fill my car up and god forbid I get ill, the NHS will probably fucking kill me with some superbug in the Doctors surgery or hospital because some foreign national nurse hasn't washed her filthy hands after wiping her arse!.

My complaint this time is why does our country's transport shut down after 10pm!? I've only just realised this because I drive everywhere, and I mean everywhere. This is because I don't want to share the fucking bus or train with some stinking unwashed tramps or some chav who's just cashed the Giro and is off to spend it at KFC "innit!".

Anyway, I decide I want to use the public transport system next month to get to London from Manchester and return back the same day after watching a fucking football match. No problem I'm thinking, the most used route in the country for Trains, planes and coaches is the London to Manchester route. Off I go to Virgin trains website, key in my dates and roughly what time I want to travel... getting down to London, no problem and pretty cheap as well at around £26, getting back to Manchester fucking forget it!!! They'll run a train every 8 seconds in the day for you, but when the sun goes down, Euston and Piccadilly are like the opening scene from "I am Legend"... fucking dead.

Bear in mind I’m not asking for a train at 3am! I'm asking for a train from our Capital City at 10:30pm (not unreasonable?) to get me back to our other big fucking city, Manchester!, I don’t want want to travel from Jersey to fucking Rawtenstall, it's London to twating Manchester! No Dice. Last train to Manchester is 10 bells... end of. Tough shit. Fuck you. Freeze and Die on a platform. Drop Dead. Virgin doesn’t give a fuck. Richard Branson doesn't care.... why? because he's wiping Sol Campbells spunk out of his beard!

Soooo, the train is a no go, it's not happening. Plan B... The coach. Good old national Express will sort me out. Might take 4 or 5 hours tops but they'll get me back. Errrr No Fuck off! Next coach on a week night for me is 11:30pm.... wait for it, here's the kick in the bollocks. 7hrs. Yep 7 hours. That’s right 7 FUCKING HOURS in the middle of the night on our dead motorways in our own country. No I'm not going to Russia, because that's what you must be thinking.. I'm going up the M1 and M6. Train and Coach Fuck you! Lights out... Party over.

Plan C... The good old Iron Eagle won't let me down! Heathrow and Gatwick, two of the busiest airports in the world, I'll hop on 40 minute flight back to Manchester. No Problem. Hmmmm.... Afraid that's not going to happen. Why? No fucking flights after 9pm! We've shut down for the night sir, fuck you. BA, BMI and whatever other shit flies to Manchester, want my arse banged by George Michael and some Tory MP in some bogs in Clapham Common because I can't get fucking home by any means except fucking driving or hitching a lift from a prostitute murdering, illegal immigrant carrying lorry driver. Every other country in the world, including the most 3rd world piece of shit, getting around at anytime of the day or night... no problem. The UK.... "Go fuck yourself".

R. Dog