The 40 Year-Old Virgin
Reviewed by the swearing fim critic

BANG. The first scene is a shoot of Andy Stitzer (Carell) with a lob on as he stumbles out of bed and into the toilet. Stitzer's home is full of fucking boxes of pristine action figures and a mountain of video games. Stitzer cycles into work at an electronics store. He is a fucking loser of the highest order and probably wanks over Dungeons And Dragons.

All it took was a couple of fucked up incidents around when everyone else was popping some sluts cheery and that was it for Andy Stitzer, he missed that fucking boat by miles. As years went by, his BIG V became more of a burden. Stitzer's colleagues guess his secret during a poker game, when they take turns to tell dirty stories and all Stitzer can come up with is that a breast "feels like a bag of sand".

So his buddies set out to get Stitzer laid, first dragging him to a nightclub in search of drunk sluts (I would have suggested IKON in Bolton), then taking him to a Hooker (I would have suggested The Bunny Club in Bolton). While this is going on they are slowing trying to help him through it all by using phrases like "Stop putting the pussy on a pedestal". He pulls a bird in bookstore and she does not seam anything special. Anyway he gets wankered off the booze and ends going back to this birds gaff. She is a dirty slut and ends up getting in the bath and starts sorting herself out with the showerhead (Good Girl) He cannot handle it and fucks off the pussy. Meanwhile, the whole time he is slowly wooing single mum Trish (MILF).

By the end, Stitzer's virginity is portrayed as heroic. Which is bullshit as there is nothing heroic about being a virgin and there is also no excuse for having had your balls licked. This film is half an hour to long and by the end you just want it to finish but it is funny. So go watch it and look out for the old Asian guy that keeps telling everyone to “Go Fuck a Goat”. Awesome