The Wedding Crashers

Starring Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughn

Reviewed by RatBoy

John Beckwith and Jeremy Grey are a pair of slick womanisers who during wedding season (is there such a time – presumably they mean summer??) trick their way into weddings with the intention of dicking bridesmaids or in fact any of the implausibly fit looking birds who happen to be in attendance.

However, somewhat predictably in these kind of movies, things go awry when one of them (dick nosed Wilson) falls for Rachel McAdams, the pretty daughter of the treasury secretary (who is played in his fucking sleep by rent-a-freak Christopher Walken).

Frankly the film gets off to a flier. Early doors there is an immensely enjoyable montage scene of the crashers doing what they do best set to “Shout’ by the Isley Brothers.

We all know what we want from with a film like this – 90 minutes of bawdy humour with a heart, likeable characters in cringe-making situations all wrapped up with a happily ever after ending. And the film does deliver most of this with the likeable front men leading the way – gawking giant Vaughn giving (as he usually does) an excellent high octane comedic performance whilst Wilson exhibits plenty of his usual laid back Texan charm. There is plenty of smut to keep the adolescent audience interest at a peak too – former Home & Away star Isla Fisher shows she isn’t shy by tossing Vaughn off under the dinner table (amongst other things) whilst even the haggard Jayne Seymour gets into the spirit of things by wapping them out during one memorable scene. At its best the film reminds you of ‘Meet the Parents’.

So what, may you say, prevents this film from being a genre classic? I’ll tell you what – the length of the bastard. At 2 hours it’s 30 minutes too long. It’s so fucking obvious I can’t believe they overlooked it. Around the 90 minute mark there is a perfect opportunity to wrap things up and send the audience home with a smile on their face & a song in their heart. But they didn’t take it and then things take a turn for the worse. Twats. Much of the goodwill engendered by what has gone before is then unceremoniously flushed down the shitter. People needlessly completely change character and there is an excruciating ‘surprise’ cameo (whose appearance seems to be the sole purpose of the last half hour as far as I can see). Furthermore I am sure that none of you will be surprised by the identity of the cameo either – Will fucking shredded wheat hair Ferrell. It is during this time that the film starts to feel more like the frankly fucking abysmal ‘Meet the Fockers’.

Another problem I have with this movie is spaghetti armed Owen Wilson. With his straw-like hair, fishy pouting lips and ridiculous fucking nose he looks like an old woman whenever the camera gets up close. Seriously, this fucker is not aging well and looks old enough to be Rachel McAdams father (or at least her lecherous uncle).

So basically if you decide to go and see the ‘Wedding Crashers’, set the alarm on your watch and go home after 90 minutes. Do so and you will have had a ball. Stay till the end and you will feel like you have been bummed. The choice is yours.